Loving Pain
by MitsukiSora-dessu
Summary: Held as a captive by his own will. Forced to endure experiments he wanted. Ichigo holds a strong power and an even stronger secret growing inside him. NO MPREG!
1. Prologue: The Future

**Hey guys! Pon-Pon here with a new Bleach story! I haven't exactly decided what to do with this one and I forgot why but this idea has been bugging me for a couple of days now. Anyway this is the prologue of Loving Pain. Enjoy! =D**

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><p><span>Loving Pain<span>

Prologue: The Future

Pressure, crushing bones every second as it continues to increase. A painful gasp escaped dry cracked lips, body arching even as the pressure grew stronger. Begging inside an already broken mind, _Make it stop, make the pain stop! _Insanity already blurring deeply needed vision, another choked gasped escaping. Pinpoint needles slide in alongside the pressure that has yet to cease. _Oh make the pain stop!_ As if someone heard the unspoken prayer the painful pressure stopped, the needles sliding back out and the water that had felt like burning fire was cold once again. A voice, watery and shrill, holding the barest hint of noticeable mockery, filled ringing eardrums, "Ready to listen?" Voice locked away, unable to move, there was no way to answer. "Oh come now, ya know how ta answer _aibou_." Using the last shred of sanity, of power, an answer was given. _I'll listen you damn monster_. Weariness took over as conscious mind, sane deprived as it was, finally fell to rest, no longer able to hear the monsters' mocking voice call back. "Good boy Ichi."

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><p>A scream of agony pierced the silent air. Everyone knew that scream. Some even felt a twinge of pity for the owner. But there was nothing they could do to help. He should have listened. If he had only listened then this wouldn't have happened. One man waited outside the door where the scream came from, an expression of grief coating his unnaturally solemn features. Blonde hair fell forward to shade gray eyes, his voice for once serious as he whispered, "Will you listen now, Ichigo?" And he was shocked to hear the boys voice whisper an answer back inside his mind.<p>

_I'll only listen to myself, Kisuke_. Sighing softly, Kisuke couldn't help but feel angry at Ichigo's stubbornness.

"You damned fool."

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><p><em>Better to be a fool than a fake<em>.

Kisuke couldn't understand why Ichigo refused to listen despite knowing the consequences. Apparently Kisuke wasn't the only one who couldn't understand. Shinji Hirako, a man of average height with short shoulder length blonde hair and a piano like grin, voiced the very question plaguing everyones mind.

"Why is Ichigo refusing to listen to the lord?" Everyone present in the room looked at Shinji with solemn eyes, until one spoke up. Tatsuki Ayakawa _**(?)**_the strong young woman who was closest to Ichigo, held her left arm while glancing off to the side as she spoke to the gathered group.

"He's probably doing it as a form of punishment."

Another scream pierced the stiffling air before Shinji, obviously a little shaken asked Tatsuki, "What do you mean by 'punishment'?" Ichigo's scream of pain echoed around the open room and Tatsuki couldn't seem to form an answer before an obviously weakened voice spoke though the body wasn't present.

_Don't be nosey you guys. I just don't listen to orders_. Kisuke said nothing in reply to that. The boy was trying to stop his friends worry, and hours passed by in a blur after that as Ichigo put a stop to their conversation. Not a peep was heard from Ichigo, there was no answer as to why, and now after another couple of hours passed the door that held Ichigo captive opened. Kisuke, who had resumed his position there along with Shinji, backed away and watched the boy stumble out. Blood dripped down from his right arm onto the grey floor, bright and fresh as Ichigo slowly lurched forward. Shinji caught him before he fell, gently bringing the boy into his arms, not even caring about the blood staining his clothes.

"Take him to 'Hime, Shinji." Kisuke ordered softly, looking at the blood on the floor. Something about it made Kisuke uneasy. Luckily Shinji didn't complain, hastily making his way to wear Orihime was resting. Now alone, though he was completely ignoring the golden eyes watching from inside the room, Kisuke lowered himself to get a better look at the blood. His eyes widened as the puddle basically _twitched _on the floor, turning a darker shade as it rose up off the ground. Before anything could happen a glass container closed around the blood. Looking up from his spot on the ground, Kisuke stared into the golden eyes surrounded by black sclera.

"Ichigo is special, Kisuke," their lord said softly, his snow white hair falling over his eyes. "There is something inside him, something dangerous, demonic even. His blood is proof enough." Dimly Kisuke could hear the _thing _formed from Ichigo's blood bang against the beaker.

"Those screams aren't because of the severe beatings are they?" Kisuke was confused. They all thought Ichigo was being punished for not following orders and the boy never disagreed with them or tried to hint otherwise.

"No," Shiro, their lord, admitted, his voice still soft. "It's the beast trying to take over. I'd never punish my brother for being himself." A shocked sigh left Kisuke's lips as he learned of the relation between their lord and Ichigo. And then he felt stupid for not realizing it sooner. Their resemblance to each other was uncanny.

"I'm a fool," he said with a humorless laugh. And the words spoken in both his mind and out loud made him smile a gentle smile.

"_Better to be a fool than a fake_," the brothers said.


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning

Okie dokie. So I actually managed to make this over 1000 words without doing the A/N that you're reading now (possibly). **Mayuzu** if I'm understanding what you mean right then you're asking about how much time had passed. Well chapter 1 starts about 3-4 years prior to what happened in the Prologue.

There is no relationship really between the characters except Ichigo's connection to Shiro though that can be questioned after reading chapter 1. -w-

Anyway I hope you enjoy chapter 1 of Loving Pain. ^^

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><p><span>Chapter 1<span>: The Beginning

Bright orange hair, deep scowl, golden tanned skin, lithe build, and creamy brown eyes holding a light hue of gold. Kisuke Urahara's first thought concerning the boy was that he was a punk. The first thing the boy said to him was, "It's rude to think I'm a punk based on appearances." A thin eyebrow raised, not visible from underneath the green hat with white vertical stripes. _What a cocky attitude_, Kisuke thought next, wondering who the boy was and what he wanted. Of course he was more than a little shocked at what the boy had said next, not that he showed it of course.

"There's a difference between cocky and confident first of all, secondly I'm not a boy, I'm a young man unlike you. My names Ichigo Kurosaki," the brown eyes narrowed, turning a darker shade of brown that looked more gold as a small grin pulled at his lips, "and I believe you hold a connection to me." And Kisuke, at that moment, new he had met a demon with the face of an angel.

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><p>That had been their first meeting, Kisuke thought as he laid in his bed. Already a few years later Kisuke was shocked at how accurate his guess was about that demonic kid. Even after three years of knowing Ichigo the boy was still a mystery to him. He wanted to know more.<p>

"Your minds too active this morning," Ichigo said, not for the first time as he walked into the bedroom with a plate of food without even knocking.

"I wish you'd knock," Kisuke stated with a frown. "And tell me what you mean by that too." Ichigo glanced at him as he sat the tray down on the nightstand and rolled his eyes.

"You aren't an idiot Kisuke and its not as if you can't take a guess." _Punk_, Kisuke thought after hearing what Ichigo said. "I'm not a punk by the way."

"I want you to tell me yourself, Ichigo." They had been over this particular subject quite a few times since Ichigo first appeared on his doorstep three years prior and Ichigo had always responded with the same line;

"Equivalent exchange."

Except this time the boy remained silent. Until he spoke in a dead voice, "Telekinesis. Thats what you wanted me to tell you."

"No," Kisuke disagreed with a shake of his head. "I'd rather you tell me your undying love!" Ichigo just shook his head and walked out of the room. Once he was gone Kisuke's eyes narrowed. Telekinesis, the ability to control things with ones' mind. A tricky matter to deal with but he suspected it with how often Ichigo seemed to read his mind. Kisuke frowned again as a thought occurred to him. "I should tell him to stay out of my mind," he mumbled to himself as he started eating the food Ichigo left for him.

Of course Kisuke had suspected what Ichigo's ability was but he wanted Ichigo to trust him enough and tell him himself. Though he had refused to do so since the man refused to talk about the boys parents, so he was quite shocked when Ichigo suddenly told him. Equivalent exchange? Kisuke didn't trade any information for what he received, nor did Ichigo ask for anything in return. With that question in mind even more popped up. Why had Ichigo come to him even though he didn't plan on revealing anything except that small bit of information concerning his parents? After three years of hiding- Kisuke's thought cut itself off as he suddenly realized. Ichigo had come to him because he needed a place to hide! It made sense now, Kisuke admitted as he remembered how aloof the boy remained even after all this time. It wasn't the matter of equivalent exchange, though that might have played a small part in it, but because Ichigo was afraid that if he revealed too much then he would get caught again.

What kept Ichigo silent was fear. But what was the boy afraid of?

_It's not what I'm afraid of_, a small voice whispered inside Kisuke's mind, causing his eyes to widen almost comically. _It's _who _I'm afraid of_.

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><p>Even as Ichigo spoke those words in his guardians mind he knew it was a lie. Kisuke didn't have to know that though. What kept Ichigo silent was really fear for himself. It was fear for Kisuke. In all honesty Ichigo wanted to go back to the only place he had known since he was a child, wanted to see those cruelly beautiful golden eyes once again, and soon he would. Three years had passed already, the deadline almost reached. In another month Ichigo would have to leave Kisuke, his new life in the world of humanity, his new <em>friends<em>, behind. He had his old friends too. They'd be mad at him, Ichigo sighed out with a soft smile smile on his face as he remembered all the people he left behind to get a few years of freedom. But it was time to go back.

Kisuke's door had opened up and the blonde whispered as he looked at Ichigo, "Who are you scared of, Ichigo?" Ichigo looked away, not yet ready to reveal the awful secret he kept hidden within him to the man who took him in.

_The Beginning_, Ichigo spoke inside the man's mind as he looked away, out the window to watch the passing clouds rolling in the blue sky. _That's what created the fear I have, so in a way I lied about it being a _who _instead of a _what_. _

"What is 'The Beginning'?"

_It happened so many years ago, _Ichigo started, trying to explain what The Beginning was in a way that Kisuke would understand. _Before you, before Isshin, before Misaki, before Yuzu and Karin, before a lot of things. I was there though, when _The Beginning _happened. _

"How could you have been there Ichigo? You're younger than I am." Kisuke stated, confusion in his voice as he tried to comprehend what the boy was saying.

_I'm not really a human, Kisuke. Isshin and Misaki are not my parents. They adopted me. _The Beginning_, is not recorded in any archives of history because it is something that needs to be erased from time itself. Yet it will never be erased_, the boy confessed, his golden/brown eyes glazing over in sadness as unseen memories plagued his mind. _It would be easier to show you, but now is not the time for it. _

"I can't help, Ichigo," Kisuke whispered just as softly as Ichigo was doing, "if you don't tell me what exactly 'The Beginning' is."

_Alright_, Ichigo sighed, _you wanted to know, Kisuke. You want to see the destruction of everything that happened from before, from _The Beginning_. I'll show you then. _

Images streamed into Kisuke's mind after that, at first appearing jumbled and out of order but as he took a closer look he realized that they were being put in order. The Beginning.

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><p>And that is the end of Chapter 1 =D Hope you liked it. ^^ Feel free to leave a review .'<p> 


	3. Chapter 2: The Past

Here is Chapter 2 of Loving Pain! I hope you enjoy it.

**XerxesWolf**- Here is the next chapter. Hope its to your liking~!

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><p>Chapter 2: The Past<p>

_Scientists had been studying the human minds capabilities before _The Beginning _happened. In retrospect _The Beginning _was caused by that research. It was forbidden to experiment on a living human though so they worked underground. Sort of like the Black Market if you think about it. _Ichigo started in that soft voice of his, still looking out of the window instead of at Kisuke who was listening intently. _That was over 100 years ago and why the future, which is where we are now 100 years later, is worse off now than it was then in terms of science. I was the human they tested on, the cause of _The Beginning_. But showing you would make more sense. _

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><p><em>Water, cold and warm at the same time, surrounded the boy with a shocking orange hair color. He was just a boy, not even ten yet. An oxygen mask covered his mouth and nose as he floated inside the tank filled with water. People were rushing all about, their voices overlapping each other, not even noticing the brown eyes that stared down at them. Slowly the water drained out of the tank, signifying it was time for another experiment. A woman stood in front of the tank, watching the boy slowly slide to the bottom and stand on shaking legs. Her dark black hair tied in a braid at the back always helped the boy to relax, because he knew this woman. Faces blended together, but as long as she kept her hair the same then he would know. And she knew it too, for he had told her that. <em>

_The woman held her hand out to him and he took it, feeling the warmth of it through his skin. _Nemu, _he started, trying to think of the words he wanted to say to her as they made their way to the labs, _what's going to happen to me?_ She looked down at him and the boy could see a smallest hint of a smile even if he could not really see her facial expression. _

"They are going to give you an antidote, Ichigo_."_ _Nemu said in her soft voice. Ichigo loved her voice but the words finally registered in his mind. Antidote? They were going to give him an antidote for something they caused? Instantly he was wary and on alert, reaching out with the curse they gave him to see what the surrounding people in long white coats knew. Their voices filled his head as soon as he did so. _He's too dangerous... Put him down... We shouldn't have made him... The power to do anything... Death. _With a gasp Ichigo pulled away from Nemu's warm hand, pure terror in his eyes as he looked around at the people who had equal terror in their expressions- the expressions he had never allowed himself to see until now. _

_Anger erupted from his very core. They had taken away his life on the outside to do those painful, excruciating, experiments that had nearly killed him every time. And now they want to "put him down" as if he was some animal? Ichigo backed away from the woman reaching out to him, the woman who _knew _and still lied to him. His anger was growing, rapidly escalating in strength to the point were those white coated scientists couldn't handle the pressure. He heard more than saw the popping of their heads as their brains overloaded from Ichigo's. He wanted to kill every single one of the people in this whole entire facility. He wanted everything to die. They wanted to kill him? They would be killed first! _

_One by one the scientists died, their blood sliding across the cement floor and staining it red. Ichigo himself had been showered with the blood, his eyes dead as he walked forward to the center of his hell. They were right to be scared of the power they had given him, of _his _power. Everything would be destroyed, all the data, all the tools, all the technology, and all of the people. _

_Nemu watched in morbid fascination as Ichigo walked away, as all the scientists who were around him spontaneously combusted or their heads exploded. She didn't understand why Ichigo hadn't killed her. But then she remembered something the boy said to her before. _"You feel like a mother." _Ichigo was still a child, she realized, who was forced to endure things that no human had the right to endure. He had craved the warmth of someone who he felt might be able to love him. And Nemu did love him. With her resolve laying heavily on her mind she followed after the boy she loved as if he were her own. As she caught up to him, having only slipped on the slick bloody surface once, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, a smile on his face as he turned around until she saw his dead vacant eyes and the smile slowly faded. Before she knew what was happening a searing pain shot through her body, on the inside, and it felt as if her organs were being melted. Despite the pain she was feeling Nemu smiled at the boy and whispered in a broken soft voice, _"I love you, Ichigo."_ All hell broke loose. _

_The facility blew up, _Ichigo told Kisuke instead of showing him the image that would forever be etched into his mind. _I killed over 1000 people and the person who was basically my mother. The facility wasn't the only thing that had been destroyed in the process. A lot of innocent people had lost their lives because of my unleashed anger and hatred. Land had torn itself apart, humans killed from the inside out, some ripped to shreds because of the power those scientists awakened inside of me. I stopped growing at 17, eight years after what became known as _The Beginning_. _The Beginning_, Kisuke, stands for The Beginning of the End. Science had just begun to fully reach its potention and suddenly it had met an end. The Beginning of life had been escalating until suddenly there was no life at all left. That is what became known as _The Beginning_. The thing that will never be recorded because of how devastating it is and because it tarnishes the goodness of humans. _Kisuke could hear the disgust in Ichigo's voice even inside his mind. He didn't know if that disgust was directed at himself or at the humanity of back then.

_Both, _the boy said as he finally turned to look at him, and Kisuke saw not for the first time how _old _Ichigo seemed despite how young he looked. _That was the past that I have been trying to forget for over a century. Three years ago someone who knew about _The Beginning_, came to me. I thought I was delusional for a while but no. I met him and he said he might be able to rid me of this curse. He gave me three years of freedom because after that, I would have to come back to him. It's time, Kisuke. Three years have already passed. _

"Then I'll go with you, Ichigo." Kisuke vowed, his eyes showing how serious he was. No one should be allowed to suffer like Ichigo had alone. _No one._

_Where does Equivalent exchange fit in with that?_

"It doesn't." A smile broke out on Kisuke's face as he faced Ichigo who sighed and shook his head.

_Do as you please, Kisuke Urahara. _


End file.
